Today is the day that we celebrate our mothers. Consider the very most positive moments you had with your mom growing up and honor those memories.
But what if you had a troubled relationship with your mother?
I'm going to suggest you do the very same thing.
Consider the best memories that you can find about your mom. Then consider what message there was in this memory for you. I've written before about how most of us remember and hold on to the negative memories with more strength than we do the positive ones. This is imbalanced but based on natural brain functioning.
Most moms intend to love and nurture their children from their best self. But the struggles of life and old narratives get in the way and they fall short of their own dreams.
Think of the positive moments when your mom was at her best.
Focus closely on what she was giving you and saying about you in those times. She was probably giving you messages of your importance and lovableness. Honor her now by claiming the messages that her best self gave you. Here's an exercise that can help.
Ever notice that you don’t often choose mindfully which of your memories to focus on; they simply seem to appear in your minds. Researchers randomly assigned 531 adults with current or previous substance abuse to five groups and gave each group a different writing exercise which took an average of four minutes to complete. The highest level of “in the moment” happiness was experienced by people who were instructed to go through their own pictures and choose one that captured a happy moment. They then simply wrote about what was happening in the photo for an average of four minutes. That’s good evidence that you can be proactive in boosting your mood!
Pick out several pictures of happy memories or make a list of memories that brought you happiness. The more time you spend on this, the more you will be rewiring your brain to focus on the positive.
Memory 1: ________________________________________________________________________________
Memory 2: ________________________________________________________________________________
Memory 3: ________________________________________________________________________________
Memory 4: ________________________________________________________________________________
Finally, go full circle if you are a mom. Give yourself grace to be imperfect. Celebrate your best self as a mom and let go of the times that you've fallen short of your own dreams. It's only human!
Happy Mother's Day!
*(Images licensed for use by shutterstock.com)